Presented in 7 Acts

"Tell Yolanda to update her blog."  This was a phone message left for me, so here ya go...

First things first.  (Second things will probably be a different post...oh the anticipation!!)  Originally I was going to run the Vermont City Marathon, which is this weekend.  I wanted to run a spring marathon and thought VCM would be perfect.  I contacted the proper race personnel and asked to be in their elite field.  They agreed.  I was stoked.  And then, I guess I choked.  Not in the overly anxious, I  really, really don't want to blow this moment, so I'm now going to blow it b/c I made too much out of it type of choke.  Just, it ain't happenin' choke.  My training wasn't going well.  I felt lousy most runs and things were not falling in place, weren't being thrown in place, and definitely weren't staying in place.  So, I entered the Kübler-Ross Model--well, sort of. 

1.  Shock and Disbelief. 
"I feel good." 
"This is going to work out fine." 
OH MY GOSH, WHY DO I  FEEL LIKE POOP!  I am so shocked!

2.  Denial.
"I can work through this."
"I will work through this."
"I can fight my way through this."
"I will fight my way through this."
"It's not too bad, there's plenty of time to turn this around."
Denial ends due to unbeknownst wisdom of 18 year old.

3.  Anger
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah

4.  Bargaining
"If I eat more red meat and chug my handy bottle of liquid iron religiously can I turn this around?"

5. Guilt
Bruised ego. Tail between the legs.
"What did I do wrong?!?!"
Forcing self to contact race directors and thank them for generously accepting me into their field, but I must withdraw. Feel horrible for not following through with self-imposed expectations. Guilt partially alleviated by very thoughtful, kind, and understanding message from VCM elite coordinator. Ego still bruised, but not being currently beaten.

4.  Depression.
Hhhhhmmmmmpppppphhhhhh.
Bummer.
That was about it.

7.  Acceptance and Hope
New goal...while improving iron levels and getting body and mind back on track totally switch gears and focus. 5K training.
Get outside perspective on training and hand it over to someone else for a while. Don't get caught in training traps.


And, so I am left with parsed down mileage, shorter/quicker workouts, and cheeseburgers.  Life ain't so bad.