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This week was a running struggle...one in which the struggle won. After being sick all last weekend, I ran on Monday and Tuesday, but didn't get out the door on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. Why? I just really, really, really didn't feel like it. I was tired. I was rushed for time. But I could have fit it in. I knew I could fit it in, but I didn't want to. I sat in my desk chair Thursday evening, knowing I needed to leave NOW! if I was to get my run in. I sat down and pictured myself driving, getting out of my car, parking, and starting to move. I did it to motivate myself. Instead, everything in my mind and body didn't like that. The thought of moving in a straight line down the road--a thought that usualy delights me--completely turned me off. I didn't want to feel the fresh air, I didn't want to breathe hard, I didn't want to stretch out--again, things that generally delight me. Things I generally enjoy doing multiple times a day. No, I caught it...the three day funk.
It was a solid three day funk. Not the good, groovy, soul funk. But, the wretched, vile, stanky funk. The funk that makes you go blah, not aaahhhhhhhhh. The funk that no one wants to be around, not the funk that makes people want to throw down.
I went for a nice run today. Hopefully I'll get my run mojo back real soon, because I have a hard 8 weeks if I'm to hit an OT qualifying time at the end of May. I feel so pressed with my schedule, that if I don't have the mental fortitude to commit and believe in this goal, then I can't and won't do it. The past few days I realized/admitted how mentally fried I was from the 50K. I bounced back pretty good physically, but mentally I really struggled. Am struggling. I'm not sure how to explain it and I'd probably sound whiny, so I'll just say, "it got to me, it really got to me." Hopefully, these past few days were a complete purging of it and I can do what needs to be done (which deep down is also what I want to be done, if I can peel back these layers of funkitude). This week will be telling, as the race is quickly approaching.
